“I would rather give a strong fight without worrying about the outcome than see such people (perpetrators of her sexual assault) walk away as if they did nothing wrong,” actor Bhavana Menon, who survived abduction and sexual assault in 2017, said in an exclusive interview with Barkha Dutt on Sunday.
On February 17, 2017, Menon, who predominantly works in Malayalam and Kannada film industry, was abducted and sexually assaulted by a gang of men in a moving car en route to Kochi from Thrissur. Five years on, the perpetrators have still not been convicted.
For the first time since her assault, Menon spoke about the incident in a live video interview at the Global Townhall 2022 event hosted by Mojo Story. Though barred from openly discussing the details, as the case is still under trial, the actor spoke about her journey from being a victim to becoming a survivor and her traumatic experience with victim-blaming.
“When I went to go to court for 15 days in 2020 (over a period of seven months), from morning to evening, each and every second, I was trying to prove that I did not do anything wrong. I am innocent and I am not the one who should be sitting here facing seven different lawyers and their questions, cross-examinations. That’s when I felt very, very lonely. I felt like it was me versus the world,” she said.
Menon added that even she had blamed herself for a long time after the incident. However, when she came out of the court after the trial in 2020, she felt like a survivor and not a victim anymore. “I am not just standing up for myself but also for the dignity of all the girls who come after me.”
The actor pointed out that some media channels went to the extent of accusing her of faking the case. “While I was trying to stand up and face life again, these kinds of things were pulling me down. It was very painful.”
On putting out her first public statement about the incident on social media in January 2022, she said, “I wanted to let people know that this is what has been happening in my life. I am so grateful for those who stood by me and when I put it out there, it was very, very cathartic.”
When asked about speaking out against an extremely powerful person [actor Dileep, who is charged as the chief conspirator of the assault] in court, Menon said that she had thought of quitting many times but her will and support system pushed her to keep fighting. “My dignity is shredded to a million pieces and I want to get it back. So many have been standing by me and the strength they give me is enormous.”
Recommended
Menon revealed that she was largely shunned in the Malayalam film industry after she chose to fight for justice. But, she also noted that some of her good friends – Ashiq Abu, Prithviraj Sukumaran, Jinu Abraham, Bhadran, Shaji Kailas and Jayasurya – offered her work. “I had to turn it down, however. I was too traumatised to come back to the same industry and pretend as if nothing had happened. I was not in the right frame of mind and I stayed away for my peace of mind. I continued to work in other languages.”
She added that she has now started listening to Malayalam scripts again.
The actor also mentioned that she has received many messages from survivors of sexual assault who said that they had chosen to remain silent out of fear. Terming this “horrifying,” she noted that as a society, we need to normalise survivors coming out and speaking about the trauma that they’ve undergone.
For a complete timeline of the female actor abduction and assault case, see here.