Hollywood Opinion

Actor Charged With Sexual Assault Wins Oscar; Academy Pleased As Balance Restored After Moonlight Win

Oscar for Best Actor to Casey Affleck given by Brie Larson

The Academy of Motion Picture Art and Science, that esteemed body of (mostly white) actors, directors, producers and one token light man, are said to be a much relieved lot, now that Casey Affleck, a white man, and only incidentally charged with sexual misconduct, has won the Oscar for Best Actor.

A D V E R T I S E M E N T

Casey Affleck won an Oscar for Best Actor, for his performance in Manchester by the Sea, a troubling tale of a <white> man who undergoes an emotionally charged experience, and has two hours and loving camera angles to express this in. That Affleck won this award on a night in which – much against established procedures and years of practiced ease – a queer/LGBT film with black actors won the Best Film award at the last minute, has restored some amount of cheer to the Academy.  

While not averse to the idea of letting a black or brown person win the occasional Oscar for inconsequential things like Best Foreign Language film, the Academy maintains a strict control of the numbers, and on their top-of-the-line products, lest their core consumers – who only accidentally are White People in the USA, and White-aspiring People from around the world – abandon them in all this social justice frenzy.

That Affleck won this award, despite being accused of sexual assault by a producer who worked on his 2010 documentary I’m Still Here, is not the Academy’s concern as they are just a group of people who are primarily only concerned with movies and films and are totally not listening to what’s going on around them, and really, why would someone who has lots of money, power, prestige, and fame ever want to sexually assault a woman.

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But for the Academy, the relief is tempered. They were quick to note that Brie Larson, who was asked to honour her Privileged Peer during the awards night, was not very enthused about the whole idea. Brie Larson, who played a sexual assault survivor in 2016’s Room, and is generally known as a soft-hearted liberal, prone to help and support other sexual assault survivors, refused to enthusiastically applaud Affleck, even as she handed him the Gold Plated Statue of the Naked Man. Brie Larson had previously refused to have any physical contact with Affleck during the Golden Globes awards ceremony.

The Academy acted quickly to quell this minor insubordination by a junior member of the organisation, and issued a stern warning to Brie Larson.

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Meanwhile, Twitter – that known outlet for liberal tears, the ground where social justice warriors foment – was up in arms. Using dangerous weapons – Satire and Sarcasm – they began a vicious attack on the entire institution of Whiteness.

 

 

 

As of this moment, the Academy is keeping a close watch on Twitter, and have asked their Outreach and Corporate Communication Department – known affectionately as #NotAllMen – to take action to stave off further attacks.

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Featured Image Courtesy: Chron.com

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