Yashika Aannand, the Tamil actor, who met with an accident near Chennai on July 24, opened up on Tuesday for the first time since the incident and said that she will “forever feel guilty to be alive,” expressing regret over the death of her friend in the same accident.

She took to social media to speak about the incident early on Tuesday.

Aannand was traveling back to Chennai from Puducherry in a car on East Coast Road near Mahabalipuram with three of her friends when she lost control of the vehicle. One of her friends, Valli Chetty Bhavani, died on the spot after the car veered and hit a central median.

City police confirmed that the actor was not under the influence of alcohol while driving. However, three cases have been booked against her for rash driving, overspeeding and causing death due to negligence.

Aannand, who has been undergoing treatment at Apollo hospital in Chennai after sustaining multiple fractures, regained consciousness last week. She was recently shifted from the intensive care unit to a normal ward after several surgeries according to a Times of India report.

On Tuesday, she condoled her friend’s death and wrote: “I really can’t express what I’m going through right now! I will forever feel guilty to be alive! I don’t know if I should thank god for saving me from that tragic accident or blame god my whole life for taking away my best friend away from me.”

She further added that she dearly misses her friend and hoped Bhavani’s family would forgive her someday.

The actor also requested her fans not to celebrate her birthday that falls on Wednesday and asked them to pray for Bhavani’s family.

Aannand’s post garnered both supportive and hateful messages. Sharing screenshots of messages from well-wishers on her Instagram stories, the actor thanked them. At the same time, she also put up the hate messages she received that blamed her for taking her friend’s life. She said that she was ‘thankful to social media for making her regret each second of her life’.

The actor also stated that the news of her killing a delivery boy in the accident was fake. She added that social media users must look to get facts straight.